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Liberal News and Commentary
Sunday, November 4, 2001

Osama Is Duh-bya's Best Friend in the World

      Our imposter president stole the election by having his Florida campaign manager, Florida Secretary of State Kathleen Harris, cancel the voter's registration of thousands of Democrats who had names similar to convicted criminals, and then getting his Daddy's Supreme Court to stop an accurate count of the ballots that were cast.  Since then, Duh-bya has been, quite possibly, the worst President of the United States of all time.  So why is he so popular?

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      Since stealing the election, Duh-bya has wrecked the economy and the federal budget by slashing federal revenue from the wealthiest segments of the population while increasing spending on the wealthy.  He's conducted an all-out war on the environment by such things as promoting oil drilling in delicate, pristine, natural areas of the country.  He's conducted a war against working people by reducing workplace protections for things such as carpal tunnel syndrome.  He went to war against poor people, again last week, by cutting off the federal heating assistance program, supposedly for lack of money, even though he had no problem finding tens of billions of dollars to give as a gift to the stockholders of airlines.  You know about Duh-bya's war on state-church separation, with one proposal after another to give our tax dollars to churches across the country to be used for discriminatory programs that advance religion.

      Yet, despite the most abysmal performance of any president, ever, Duh-bya has become extremely popular.  The reason:  Osama bin Laden.  Osama has been Duh-bya's best friend in the world.  Osama has done that by giving Duh-bya a way to distract the American people from Duh-bya's terrible record of accomplishment while President.

      Duh-bya had been desperate to find a way to distract the American people from his atrocious record, and then along came Osama.  Since September 11th, Americans, as we have always done during a crisis, have rallied around the President.

      Duh-bya has frequently said that the war against Osama will take a long time.  Dyh-bya certainly hopes so.  The longer it takes to find bin Laden, the longer Duh-bya will be able to divert attention from the many overwhelming problems here at home.

      Duh-bya has said that the war on terrorism will be the principal focus of his administration from now on.  Of course it will be.  Duh-bya is stinking up every other aspect of his job.  The last thing Duh-bya wants is for the United States Armed Forces to capture Osama quickly and end the war.  That would be a disaster for Duh-bya, because it would take away Duh-bya's only tool for distracting the American people from the numerous problems that Duh-bya has caused here at home by putting financial windfalls for his contributors ahead of the needs of the American people.

      Duh-bya really wants this war to take a long time, because the longer it takes, the longer it will be before the American people demand that Duh-bya focus his attention on the many other crushing problems this nation faces.

      I hope the war gets wrapped up today and ends tomorrow, but I know that Duh-bya will do everything in his power to prevent that from happening.

      Only 52 weeks until the Democratic landslide of 2002.  Three years from today, on November 4, 2004, we'll elect Duh-bya's Democratic replacement.  Then, we'll begin the long process of repairing the severe damage that Duh-bya will have done to this great country.

      It can't happen soon enough.

         Rob Sherman          

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